Guilt or gratitude - that is the question

Now during my cancer experience, I redefined my perception of 'lucky'. Yes, it's really not the best of luck to get cancer at 40, especially when you're a tee-total, non-smoking, clean living exercise freak. However, when you see what others you meet on your 'journey' are still having to endure, you feel like you've really dodged a bullet. Having met up with a tremendously brave lady recently, who has had all sorts of terrible lasting effects from her surgery, and is still battling with the side effects of breast cancer drugs four years on, I felt incredibly blessed to have got through this whole thing relatively unscathed. Another cancer friend is facing some terribly stark choices - the chemo that can stop her cancerous brain tumour from growing any larger has also caused a painful brain bleed and this is a risk she must take if she wants to stay alive for any longer than the paltry two years she has been given. So, on the one hand, I don't feel like I should ride my wave of good fortune by buying a lottery ticket, but I also feel terribly guilty that my story has so far led me down a much more favourable path than many others. And don't even get me started on those poor folk who have an awful prognosis from lesser known (and supported) cancers such as pancreatic cancer. My thoughts and prayers are with those people and their families. I suppose the only thing we can do in this situation is remain grateful for every day we are given, and support those who are less fortunate than ourselves in whichever small way we can. And...plough that guilt into something more positive!

Amanda