Feeling at odds with yourself

Having received many an appallingly wrapped but fantastic present from my Dad I know it's what's on the inside that counts. However, having been back at work and socialising normally for a few weeks now, I do feel that what's on the outside doesn't match what's on the inside. I'm not entirely odd looking - I have some short eyelashes now, I'm working hard on losing the three quarters of a stone that Docetaxel left me as a leaving gift and I have enough hair to look like it might have been a bad decision rather than a critical illness. But, I don't feel like me. Sometimes, when I'm talking on the phone to a business contact, or laughing with a friend, I will feel so much like the old me that when I catch sight of my reflection, it really takes me aback. I think once I have a more feminine haircut and can dye it (apparently you can't dye your hair for six months after treatment), and I'm back to full fitness, I can start to feel a bit more like Amanda on the outside as well as on the inside. Bring it on!

Amanda

Me this morning