The battle continues

Where's Amanda? I feel like a complete wuss. I have absolutely no energy and can barely keep my eyes open. I can't walk and have not had a shower for two days. Wild stabbing chest pains and lower back pain give me an intermittent charge. If you wanted warts and all...they're here.

Dean is being amazing and cooking delicious wholesome food whenever I am awake. I am filling my body with fresh fruit and vegetables to ward off this toxicity once and for all. I am having acupuncture to minimise the side effects. I'm completely embarrassed to have lost myself in this way, but also realise that I need to give in to this to get better. I am hoping that this is the worst of it now. My hair is coming back. My Dad is convinced that my cheeks are shrinking. I hate feeling so weak. It takes all my energy to answer the phone.

But I have to keep going. I watched Rowena's documentary yesterday and it's crazy to comprehend that a young woman could have so short a future and still so strong a sense of herself. I was inspired by the psychologist who said that the important thing is to just 'be' and lower our expectations of ourselves. When you are faced with your own destiny, all you need to do is be who you are, you don't need to achieve anything or prove anything. You are enough.

Amanda