More sorrows than joy

This morning I lost my friend to cancer. Her mother lost a daughter and her son and daughters lost their beloved Mum. I feel so sad to have lost her, and can only imagine the pain of her family.

Something that my Grandad had said to me when I was younger, was that there were more sorrows than joy in this world. I was saddened to hear that at the time, but today it resonated with me more than it ever had before. My grandparents were incredible, selfless and generous and the most unmaterialistic people you could ever imagine. They still had a toilet at the end of the yard and a bath in the kitchen before they died in their late eighties. Possessions were nothing to them. Family was everything. That's why they were devastated to lose their son, my Uncle Dennis and their Grand-daughter, Gillian to cancer. They then went on to lose my sister, Stephanie to meningitis. Having seen how my parents' lives were destroyed by Steph's death, I can understand how Grandad could talk about his sorrow.

I have never met my paternal grandparents as they both died tragically, leaving my Dad all alone in the world at just fourteen. You could be forgiven for thinking that he too would be defeated by sorrow, but he created our wonderful family and we experienced lots of joy and happiness. After my sister's death at just fifteen, family life was never the same again and when I was diagnosed with cancer in 2015, this tipped my Mum over the edge. She died not knowing that I would survive despite my 'months not years to live' diagnosis.

Although my recent brain scan was clear (the Oncology Professor himself was kind enough to call me with that news), it is not possible to celebrate when others are suffering. My Dad's motto has always been to turn a negative into a positive, and despite the sorrows in his life, he is joyous and generous and funny. I know he would do anything for me and he extends this to my friends too. Yes, there may be lots of sorrow in life, but there is also boundless joy, laughter and hope. This life is painfully short so let's seek out the joyous moments, remember with fondness those who have gone to a better place and praise God for the gift of having those people in our lives and still in our hearts.

This post is dedicated to Yvonne, an incredible woman, committed Christian, loving mother and avid Stoke City supporter. I know she is with God now and her suffering is over. She will be greatly missed by the Church family and my heart goes out to her loved ones.

Amanda