Receiving a cancer diagnosis is more often than not (personally
speaking) a complete bolt out of the blue and can trigger a strong emotional
response. Some people experience shock, anger, and disbelief. Others may feel
intense sadness, fear, and a sense of loss. Even the most supportive family
members and friends cannot understand exactly how it feels to have cancer. This
can lead to loneliness and isolation.
Support groups allow people to talk about their experiences with
others who are living with cancer or who have come out of the other side after
finishing treatment for cancer. Group members can share feelings and
experiences that may seem too strange or too difficult to share with family and
friends. And the group dynamics often create a sense of belonging that helps
each person feel more understood and less alone.
Support group members may also discuss practical information.
This may include what to expect during treatment, how to manage pain and other
side effects of treatment, and how to communicate with health care providers
and family members. Exchanging information and advice may provide a sense of
control and reduce feelings of helplessness.
Groups may also be designed for specific audiences, including:
·
All individuals with
cancer
·
People with one type
of cancer, such as breast cancer or prostate cancer
·
People of a certain
age group
·
People who have a
specific stage of cancer
·
Caregivers, such as
family members and friends
You may not be interested in joining a support group or find
that support groups are not helpful for you. I did not want to join a support
group when I was going through my treatment, I wanted to get my treatment over
and done with and didn’t feel like I wanted to talk to people I didn’t know. For
me personally, the best support was talking to people I already knew who had
been through a cancer diagnosis. And of cause, my very best support came from
Amanda. She was always at the end of the phone whenever I needed her and I was
for her too, even if it was to just have a moan (which we did often).
It was only through meeting another lady through a mutual
friend, who had also had breast cancer that I started to think about a support
group. The lady in question decided to set up a breast cancer support group which
is incidentally, the only one of its kind in the area that Amanda and I live.
Breast cancer survivors bring personal experience to support groups they organize. For example, a cancer survivor can help those who are newly diagnosed know what to expect. But because many breast cancer survivors have not had support group skill training, they may not always know how to respond to difficult group situations. At the same time, even without official training, people who've had breast cancer often have enough life experience.
The meetings I now attend are once a month and I have met a wonderful group of ladies who
are at all different stages since being diagnosed with breast cancer. Some
ladies are a few years down the road, some are still having treatment and some
only needed an operation and no follow on treatment. Sadly, some now have a secondary cancer diagnosis and some now have terminal cancer.One thing we all have in
common though is that we were all diagnosed with breast cancer.
For me, this support group is now a place where I can go and we
can chat about our hopes and our fears because once you’ve finished your
treatment and started to make the slow recovery to your ‘new normal’, most people
will find that family members and friends very rarely mention your ‘cancer time’
yet for us who’ve been through it, we still live with it every day. The group
of ladies who I meet up with every month all know exactly how I feel because we’ve
all been through the same experience and no matter how good friends and family
are, they will never know or be able to fully understand how we feel.
The support group that I go to also has something going on every
time we meet. For instance, we have had representatives from the Douglas Macmillan
Hospice, we have had a doctor giving a talk on mammograms and how they
determine who is recalled etc. We have also had ladies there who offer massages
and therapeutic treatments so every monthly meeting is different. The one constant at every meeting is that we have
tea and cakes so that's got to be worth going for...
If you’re still having treatment and don’t really want to
consider joining a support group just yet, then consider these other sources of
support:
·
Talk with a friend.
·
Get individual counselling
·
Ask a doctor or nurse specific questions.
·
Participate in activities that you enjoy and that allow you to
connect with friends or family.
Whichever form of support you decide to choose, it will be what is right for you.
For more information on the support group available in Stoke on Trent:
http://www.pinksisters.co.uk/
Debbie
