Dealing with fear

This weekend I had a bit of a storm in a D-cup. I noticed that the nipple on the breast in which I had the cancer had taken on a new look. I will spare you the details but it was a different colour to the other one and slightly crusty (delightful!). As I had Triple Negative Breast Cancer which has a high recurrence rate, I was filled with what I can only describe as abject terror. It was very difficult to keep my feelings in perspective and think logically rather than start ordering flowers for my funeral. So, I talked to my husband, shared my fears with my cancer and non-cancer friends and rang my Macmillan nurse. She saw me quickly (first thing on Monday morning) and confirmed that it was nothing to worry about and that it was more than likely due to the radiotherapy. I found the whole experience particularly unsettling as up until then I was beginning to see cancer as an experience from the past not the present or future, but I was jolted by the reminder that I must always be vigilant without being obsessive or panicky. So, my advice would be, if you have any concerns, see a professional as quickly as you can; try not to panic and talk it out with people you trust. I think that fear of recurrence is inevitable, but don't let it take over your life, and as soon as the drama subsides, then there is one positive...you will feel absolutely wonderful!!

Amanda