Patience when you're no longer a patient

My husband will be the first to tell you that patience is absolutely not my strong point. But annoyingly, patience is pretty important as you move on from cancer. I am now about ten weeks post treatment and I'm working, exercising and socialising exactly as I used to. However, whilst 90% of the time I am delighted to be alive/well/doing normal things/not having chemo/allowed out* (delete as appropriate), I am also impatient to get fully back to normal. My hair is the primary cause of my frustrations as, although it looks like a style of sorts, I just truly hate it and can't wait to feel more feminine. I'm also pretty tired a lot of the time and still have about three quarters of a stone to lose. So whilst life on the other side is undeniably great, you must also be conscious that you can't bounce back instantly, and patience is really important. It's also pretty crucial to tell people how you're feeling. They will forget that you're only a few weeks post the biggest trauma of your life and will expect you to be the 'old' you. So, take it easy on yourself. Tell people how you're feeling and try not to dwell on your appearance - the only person who's hung up on it is you.

Amanda

Dealing with fear

This weekend I had a bit of a storm in a D-cup. I noticed that the nipple on the breast in which I had the cancer had taken on a new look. I will spare you the details but it was a different colour to the other one and slightly crusty (delightful!). As I had Triple Negative Breast Cancer which has a high recurrence rate, I was filled with what I can only describe as abject terror. It was very difficult to keep my feelings in perspective and think logically rather than start ordering flowers for my funeral. So, I talked to my husband, shared my fears with my cancer and non-cancer friends and rang my Macmillan nurse. She saw me quickly (first thing on Monday morning) and confirmed that it was nothing to worry about and that it was more than likely due to the radiotherapy. I found the whole experience particularly unsettling as up until then I was beginning to see cancer as an experience from the past not the present or future, but I was jolted by the reminder that I must always be vigilant without being obsessive or panicky. So, my advice would be, if you have any concerns, see a professional as quickly as you can; try not to panic and talk it out with people you trust. I think that fear of recurrence is inevitable, but don't let it take over your life, and as soon as the drama subsides, then there is one positive...you will feel absolutely wonderful!!

Amanda

Any questions answered

Debbie and I are thrilled to see that people have been viewing this blog. We really hope it's useful. If you're going through cancer or know someone who is, we'd be more than happy to answer any questions you may have. No matter how odd your question is, give us a try! If you post it as a comment, we'll answer it as soon as we can. We hope to hear from you!

Amanda and Debbie