I have been lucky enough to have an incredible lifelong best friend. I have been horribly unlucky to lose her to cancer at just 47.
Cheryl and I met at Primary School where we shared a love of English and complete ineptitude at sports. We were somewhat enchanted by each other's company. We would walk to school together, learn together, play together, walk home together and write each other letters every day. Our favourite game was 'letters in your name'. Not a complex game, it involved shouting out a letter and then moving forward one step if that letter appeared in your name. I performed well with the letter 'A' and Cheryl's name offered the benefit of lots of 'E's. I was shocked to find out that she had extended her middle name, Ann, to 'Annette' to secure victory. Those pesky extra 'E's and 'T's gave her the advantage. Under the circumstances I have forgiven her.
At Sneyd Green Primary School, we were given a creative challenge, to decorate a boiled egg. Mine was an appalling travesty of a broomstick-less witch painted in red nail varnish. Cheryl's was a beautiful peacock egg with a feather for a tail. I don't recall how it performed in the competition, but it remained in pride of place on the top of the gas fire in Cheryl's dining room for TEN whole years. It's longevity was quite simply incredible.
At weekends Cheryl's Dad would take us swimming and then to McDonald's. We would cram our hair into those funny little swimming caps that would make us look like matchsticks. It was a joyful experience since it gave us an opportunity to spend more time together, plus, I was the only one in my family who could swim.
Cheryl's wallpaper was a map of the world and I wished I had paid more attention to it as my geographical knowledge is dreadful. It was in Cheryl's bedroom that we practiced our moves to rapper Redhead Kingpin's 'Do the Right Thing'. It was a flawless routine but sadly we never had a chance to perform it publicly.
Cheryl's Mum used to make fabulous chips followed by bananas and custard. On one occasion, we all started laughing during the serving of the custard, you know those belly laughs that are uncontrollable and bring tears to your eyes? It was one of those. No-one had any idea what was so funny, but I always remember that moment and smile to myself, especially when eating bananas and custard.
One of the things that Cheryl and I did regularly together was go to the cinema. After seeing Empire of the Sun, we developed a crush on the star of the film, Christian Bale. We decided that it would be a great idea to phone him. As this was a clandestine activity, we made the call in the dark so that Cheryl's neighbours could not see what we were up to. We looked up 'Bale' in Bournemouth in the Phone Book. There were only two! I called the first one and asked if I could speak to Christian as I was a 'friend from school'. Unbelievably she put us through, and an awkward conversation ensued where I asked him whether he was going to do any more films, he said "yes" and I said "good". Cheryl and I were overcome with excitement and I kept his phone number in my Filofax. I never used it but it was good to have it close at hand.
Cheryl and I spent many a holiday in Cornwall with her parents. We would travel down with her dalmatian called Dom asleep on our laps (Dom was almost as car sick as I was) and stay at a campsite. We would walk on the cliffs and the beach with her Dad and dog respectively. Special times.
When Cheryl moved to Banbury to live on a boat, I had lots of fabulous weekends with her and her then partner, Tim. Cheryl and I shared a dry sense of humour and she was fabulously laid back so it was a delight to be in her company. We also shared an obsession with language and spelling. She was an editor and I worked in advertising so we would often talk about our horror at a misplaced possessive apostrophe.
When I worked at McCann's I won an all-expenses paid trip to New York after a day at Galaxy Radio. I chose Cheryl to accompany me and we were super-excited. Cheryl has the patience of a Saint and the most gentle and loving nature, so when we were delayed for 24 hours, we just pottered around the airport, reading and chatting, and extended our trip with permission from our employers. We were kind to the fraught check-in-desk lady unlike our fellow travellers, and she gave us an upgrade to Business Class! An upgrade on our already FREE trip! Another classic moment that didn't faze Cheryl and I, was that our luggage went missing, so we had to buy knickers from Macy's until our cases arrived the next day. We loved the trip and saw the sights. It was a poignant time as the 9-11 Terrorist atrocity had happened only weeks previously and the embers from the fall of the Twin Towers were still burning.
Cheryl made a wonderful companion at weddings, and when I took her as my 'date' to our friend Vicky's wedding, she made such a good impression that she was invited in her own right to our friend Charlotte's wedding. We celebrated their nuptials on both occasions retiring to our room at the Travel Lodge for a cup of tea.
For Cheryl's 40th birthday, I hired a luxury Yurt and her boating friends joined us for fun and high-jinks. I was deeply saddened when talking about pensions (what a fabulous conversationalist I am!) that Cheryl told me that she would not be saving for her future as she expected to die young as her Mum had (from Breast Cancer). I told her that was ridiculous. I was wrong.
When I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer later that year, Cheryl was an incredible support to me. She came up to live in Stoke and was by my side throughout, as a loving, kind and funny friend through troubled times. She even told me that she would have happily taken the cancer away from me. It was a sign of her love and devotion that she said this, and I knew she meant it. It was devastating that she was later diagnosed with Advanced Lung Cancer.
It was too awful to contemplate that Cheryl had cancer. She tackled it with grace and humour and it barely dented her joy and happiness. At this stage she had found the love of her life, a fellow boatsman named Craig (also known as Sheridan). He won't mind me saying that on paper he was a poor prospect for my beloved Cheryl, with a seriously chequered past. He turned out to be a spectacular choice however, and I credit him with so many things, not least, caring for her during cancer right to the end, and most importantly making her heart sing. She was giddily happy and in love, even as the cancer caused her immense pain and suffering.
Even at the end of her life, Cheryl was happy. My heart breaks for the loss of this incredible friend who has been a significant part of my life for over forty years. She had an enormous heart, a fabulous sense of humour, a beauty that shone from the inside out and she taught me how to say "I love you" after every conversation with her.
It is unfathomable to think that I will never hear her laugh, see her wryly raise her eyebrow or bask in the warmth of her company again. I have lost another sister and it feels cruel. But love endures when life is lost. Before she died I told her that I wanted her to be in Heaven with me when the time came. With the help from a lovely Church friend, I gave Cheryl a prayer to say to Jesus. Although she is gone for now, I know we will be reunited.
Rest in peace my beautiful friend. Love you x
