I am greeting 2016 with mixed feelings. On the one hand, I am at peace with what's happening to me and my family. On the other, I see the sadness in the eyes of those I love and it is truly heart-breaking. So, as Christmas ends and the New Year begins, I thought would reflect on what it's really like for those who are facing terminal illness.
Since I was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer in November 2013, life has been very different. I've had surgery to remove the original lump, then radiotherapy, then chemotherapy. Then, when my body was just about recovering; I had a bit of hair, regained my work skills, rebuilt my fitness and started to move onto the next chapter, the cancer came back in the most dangerous of places...my brain. So the whole rigmarole began again with its own special brand of torture: two lots of brain surgery followed by a punishing schedule of radiotherapy. I lost my hair (again), swelled up like a helium balloon (again), and lost many of my faculties.
But despite all of the unpleasantness I'm still here. Whenever this ends, I can genuinely say that I am grateful for so many things. My phenomenal parents, husband, friends, colleagues and clients have quite simply shone a light through the darkest of times. For that I will always be grateful. And I mean more grateful than you will ever know.
Too numerous to mention are the plethora of thoughtful gifts, flowers and untold kindnesses you have selflessly shared with me. I have, on many occasions over the last few months, laughed until my belly ached, cried and adored reading messages and letters from people from all areas of my life. Would I change a thing? Aside from the rubbishy cancer bit, then absolutely not.
Happy New Year from Amanda
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