Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself

Periodically over the last few weeks, I have had some bouts of sickness and some dizziness, coupled with the most hardcore sleeps. There's no immediate cause for alarm, however, it's difficult not to let the occasional worry slip in. Being terminally ill is an odd concept. You're still you, feel like you and are prone to everyday concerns like you always were. But there is now an extra dimension to the worries.

So I have two ways of allaying my fears. The first is the medical route. I have an oncology consultant and a surgical team investigating my progress and have appointments with both coming up. The surgical team are the more optimistic of the two and once I have my scan results, they will decide whether (a) I am in the same boat as the last scan - a wonderful option with no further action at this time, or (b) there have been some changes to my brain and there is a new/enlarged tumour which will need action (perhaps more surgery, possibly cyber-knife).

With this route, I will have all the facts at my disposal and there is something reassuring about knowing what's what, whether it's good news or bad.

The second route (which is concurrent to the first) is about relying on a powerful combination of faith, hope and love. My faith will guide me through, regardless of the outcome, I will never lose hope despite the bleakest of prognoses, and the strongest of all, love. The love of my friends and family lifts my spirits and for that I am truly thankful. So for now I won't waste precious time worrying, and instead be grateful whatever happens.

Amanda  

P.S. Please pray/hope for option (a)

It's the 3% that worry me