20 lessons cancer has taught me

1. All the clichés are true.
2. There is nothing more touching than someone telling you they would rather be experiencing this than see you suffer. And knowing they mean it.
3. Laughter, even at the most inappropriate times can be magical.
4. The thoughtfulness of a friend can make a tough day bearable.
5. Scars are not ugly but a symbol of what we have overcome.
6. What you think is a bad day is actually a privilege.
7. There are some incredibly brave people in this world. And they’re not the ones you would think.
8. People are put into your path for a reason.
9. There is joy even in the darkest times.
10. Being loved is the greatest gift you can ever receive.
11. Even with no hair, people who love you can still see beauty in you.
12. You are stronger than you ever thought possible.
13. Whatever you’re going through, someone else is having a rougher time.
14. Finding the one you love more than anything is completely priceless.
15. Normality is seriously under-rated.
16. You need to enjoy what you have right now rather than dream of what you might have.
17. Prayers are always answered. Just perhaps not in the way you think.
18. Peace on the inside can counteract chaos on the outside.
19. Eating well can make a genuine difference to how you feel.
20. Patience is not just a virtue. It’s a skill to be learned.

Amanda and Debbie

Triple Negative Breast Cancer - don't believe the hype

When you've been diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer, your first thought is to have a good read about it online. You'll probably wish you hadn't! There's lots of scary stuff about a poorer prognosis and limited treatment options. However, there are some good points! Triple Negative responds really well to chemotherapy and once you're finished with the chemo and radiotherapy, there's no ongoing treatment, so it's not all bad! There's a specific organisation dedicated to TNBC, and this is a really useful information source. So, don't panic! And, several of my friends (who are also about my age) had TNBC many years ago now and have practically forgotten all about it.

Amanda

Plan in some celebrations

Now cancer treatment can be pretty arduous so it's important to have some treats to look forward to. I've booked a multitude of holidays, and since my 41st birthday was on the day after my last chemo, I am having another birthday in July when I'll hopefully be feeling a lot better. Debbie and I also had a few appointments with the hospital's holistic therapist and these were brilliantly uplifting sessions to look forward to during our 'good' week (the third week after chemo). Being kind to yourself is so important, so whatever constitutes a treat for you, then go for it!

Amanda

How to tell your children you have Breast Cancer

The best way to break the news to your children that you have Breast Cancer....there is no best way.
I have three children, two are adults age 22 and 23 and I also have a 13 year old. All three of mine knew that I had gone to the hospital for my results after having a biopsy. I have always been open and honest with my children, no matter what the subject and assumed it would be easier telling the eldest two than it would telling the youngest. Well it wasn't easy telling any of them. All three cried and were understandably upset.
I told them word for word what the consultant had told me and tried to answer any questions that they had.
I only have my youngest at home now and the night I was diagnosed, she wanted me to sleep with her and we lay in bed and I told her to ask me anything she wanted. We both had tears on and off but, I was then and still am a very positive person and I think it's half the battle. You have to stay strong and positive because it really does reflect in the way your children handle the diagnosis.
My youngest has probably suffered the most since I was diagnosed because she lives with me and she sees the effects of chemo, whether it's been the side effects or the general life during chemo.
One thing I have done is promised her lots of treats for when I'm through my treatment (last one next week).
She is old enough to understand that: I can't take her shopping, I can't take her the cinema, I can't do 'normal' things with her that we did before BUT she also knows that it's short term and that life will return to 'normal' once my treatment is over. I have always encouraged her to talk to me about any fears she may have and any questions, she knows she can ask me because I've always been honest and open with all three of them.
My youngest also knows she can talk to her siblings or other family members if she needs to. I also informed her school and they have been very supportive and encouraged her to talk if she feels the need.
I've been very lucky as my whole family, children and friends have been an invaluable support system since I was diagnosed.
My main advice would be to just be open and honest with your children, no matter what their age. You will not be able to hide your feelings and they will sense that something is wrong anyway. Debbie.

Mastectomy and Reconstruction

I was originally diagnosed with one small lesion, 6mm Grade 1 and was booked in to have a lumpectomy. I needed an MRI scan to rule out further lesions as my mammogram was unclear as I also had lots of breast cysts. This showed up two further areas which after biopsies, confirmed I had two more cancerous lesions and I was told that I needed a mastectomy and would have an immediate reconstruction. My immediate reaction was 'get it off' once I knew I had the three separate lesions. I actually could not wait for my operation.
I had a fairly new technique, called a Strattice Reconstruction. My operation went well (4hrs) and I remember waking up and feeling like I had a house brick strapped to my chest!! I was also hooked up to two drains, one draining the implant and the other draining my armpit due to having lymph nodes removed. I won't lie, it wasn't very comfortable at all and I had many tears because of the pain but this was compensated by the fact that I knew that the breast had been removed and the cancerous growths with it. I was in hospital for four days and came home with the two drains. One was removed three days later and the second one, a week after that. Once both drains were out, I felt different again, partly because I could have a 'proper' bath. The pain did get easier every day until eventually by week 3, I hardly had any pain and didn't feel the need for pain relief.
My results showed that I had three lesions, the original one, 6mm Grade 1, a 5mm Grade 2 and a 2.5mm Grade 2. All three were tiny but in three separate areas which possibly meant that my breast was prone to cancer and I know that the mastectomy was the best treatment for me.
You will be given exercises to do the day after a mastectomy. Do make sure you do the exercises that the physio give you, they really are essential.
The really positive news is, a few weeks on from my mastectomy and reconstruction, my new breast was much softer and I had no pain whatsoever from it.
Just be warned that you may feel like an exhibit when you have follow up hospital appointments...I'm sure that my breast surgeon treated my breast like it was his work of art that he needed everyone to see!!
I am now six months post mastectomy/reconstruction and unless I tell people, they can't tell the difference with my boobs! Debbie.

When will my hair ever grow back?

Having had thick, waist-length blonde hair before cancer, I have been very impatient about when my hair will grow back. It fell out completely a couple of weeks after the first FEC cycle, and my eyebrows thinned considerably. I lost all but five of my eyelashes towards the end of the Docetaxel cycles. I wasn't too bothered about being bald when I was going through chemo, as I never socialised and was feeling pretty rough. However, now I'm out and about, I am desperate for my hair to grow back. (I've struggled with wigs as they tend to cause migraines). If, like me, you want to know how long you have to wait, my hair started growing back after penultimate Docetaxel. It started off very, very fine, like a newborn baby chick and is growing vertically. Over six weeks I've got about an inch of this baby hair and still look bald, but at least it's progress! However, this last week, I've noticed some tougher, darker hair coming through. It's about a millimetre long but is thick like my old hair used to be. So, I reckon within a few weeks I might be able to go hat-free without people asking me whether I've had cancer (which they do!). I'll keep you posted! Amanda.

Me yesterday

Now when we talk about laughter being the best medicine, this photo literally had us in stitches and again, when you're chemo buddies, you just get it!! My hair/body loss hasn't quite been the same as Amanda. Yes, I've lost the hair from my head but it started to grow back after my 4th cycle (1st Docetaxel). When I say it's started to grow back, it's about 2mm so hardly enough to wear a clip just yet but at least I know it will grow back. Saying that, I'm quite partial to my wig... I simply wash it once a week, shake it and put it back on the wig stand, comb through the following day and it is perfect, no styling needed. I do not need to dry it or straighten it either (bonus).
 I have never lost any leg hair at all. None!! Totally unfair!! I have one very thin eyebrow and half an eyebrow on the other side! I haven't actually counted eyelashes but sure I have more than Amanda's five! Debbie.

Using supplements to accelerate your recovery

During my chemotherapy I suffered from horrendous, debilitating migraines, particularly after the first cycle where Ondansetron was part of the drugs cocktail. Migraine can be attributed to a magnesium deficiency, so I asked my neurologist whether it would be helpful to take daily doses of Magnesium, alongside Vitamin B12 which I had also read could help. He was keen on the idea as long as my oncologist was happy, as sometimes herbal treatments can interfere with the effects of the chemo. He gave me the go-ahead too, and I took both throughout the process. My migraines improved significantly, and this made the chemo much more bearable. Once the chemo finished, on the advice of my acupuncturist I started taking Co-Q10, Glucosamine and Collagen supplements to boost my energy levels and hair and tissue regrowth. Obviously you will need to check with your doctors, but I am four weeks post chemo, feeling pretty good and have the hair of a new-born chick!

Amanda